Eating Melbourne

In which I spend a rather beautiful Saturday eating a somewhat disappointing lunch.

Joe Green, 2A Mitchell St, Northcote. Ph (03) 9481 5554

New cafes seem to be spawning like tadpoles in the primal hipster ooze of Northcote. One of the newest is Joe Green. I visited for lunch on a radiantly sunny autumn day with Dan and J.

I really liked the decor; it’s quirky, without looking like it’s trying too hard to be quirky.

Unfortunately that’s where the love ended for me, on this visit.

We ordered whitebait to come out first as a starter – but they weren’t as hot as they should have been if they were cooked to order, and the little fishies weren’t very crispy.

There was nothing to dip them in. Usually fried whitebait will come with aioli or mayonnaise or something. “Oh well, that’s weird,” we thought, and ate a few of the lukewarm fishies anyway. (Well, I was hungry.)  And then a creamy tartare turned up five minutes later, after we’d given up on the whitebait.

The rest of the food turned up reasonably promptly; we ordered the Siciliana pizza, the pasta with lamb ragu, and the radicchio and cos salad.

I probably would have liked the pizza if it didn’t have quite so many capers on it.  Capers are salty little buggers, and in my opinion ought to be used sparingly, like anchovies.

None of us liked the pasta, and we didn’t finish it. To me, the sauce tasted like bottled tomato sauce.

The radicchio and cos salad consisted of about eleven pieces of lettuce in a bowl. It was $6.50 and I felt ripped off. I guess it’s not like it was false advertising – it was, indeed, radicchio and cos – but seriously, $6.50 for that?

Service was friendly, but very patchy, and they weren’t busy.

Apparently the coffee is good here, according to Dan; they use Coffee Supreme. We didn’t stick around to try it.

I hope they can improve the food and service here, it’s a great location and space.

I am going to let you in on one of my very favourite (if unconventional) breakfasts in Melbourne: breakfast at the movies.

I go to the Palace cinemas in Westgarth, which is my local, but you could do it at any cinema that offers food beyond popcorn and Maltesers. (Unless you really want to eat popcorn for breakfast.)  There’s usually a session at around 10.15 or 10.30, which still allows for a bit of a sleep-in; I get there about five minutes before the session’s due to start and order a latte and a piece of panettone for $6. The Westgarth makes surprisingly decent Lavazza coffee, and the generous wedges of panettone are always fresh.

Cinema 1 is the best for movie-breakfasts, as it has the comfy high-backed seats with little tables in between each seat pair where you can put your coffee and plate. (The smaller cinemas 2 and 3 just have cup holders so you’ll have to have your plate on your lap.)

The early sessions are usually pretty empty, unless it’s a kid’s movie. So you get the cinema almost to yourself, along with a lovely hot coffee and delicious Italian pastry – what glee! Why line up for the crowded 8.30pm movie session with all the other suckers?! Or have to wait for a table at brunch?!

Interested to hear if any other cinemas are suitable for movie breakfast?